Do you ever feel like you are on the verge of something exciting? Only to then feel discouraged because who the hell do you think you are!? I feel like that all the time. I know that I know things, but because I can’t always articulate that knowledge in the way that I think I should, I freeze on the spot. Then anxiety kicks in and I worry about getting it wrong and then my ideas die a sudden and painful death and I go back to believing I’m not ‘good enough’ to put my content out into the world.
Even compliments; I feel like they are just being nice, that they are only saying nice things because they are my friend. And the genuine moments of self-belief are quickly washed away by self-doubt before any action is taken.
I hadn’t realised quite how badly I was affected by Imposter Syndrome until I came off social media. I thought I was social media ‘savvy’ and immune to the comparison trap but being away from the constant chatter of social media meant I could hear my own thoughts loud and clear again and it was certainly a lot quieter – and nicer!
Imposter syndrome is still there, I’m pretty sure it always will be, although it’s more a quiet hum of contemplation rather than a loud shouting voice screaming that I’m not good enough. The reality is we won’t always get things right. Not everyone will like us. Our voice isn’t necessarily going to be welcome or even needed in every space, and that is ok. Take away the fear of failure and the DOING feels a bit easier.
Karen Preene 